The Evil Day Job

Me in my scrubs, wishing I could be home gaming instead.

Just about every content creator, writer, and artist I know will feel me when I say this: I’m so f@#king sick of my day job (or as I call it the EDJ for short). Don’t get me wrong. Most of the time I really like my job and I love the folks I work with. But spending 40+ hours a week doing something I don’t love, that doesn’t spark my heart and soul…well, it’s just exhausting. And it’s seriously cutting into my time to do the things I love most: gaming and writing.

That being said, some of this indentured servitude is self inflicted. Once upon a time I was a published author. I didn’t make tons of money, but I made enough to consider it a side income. But once again, I had to write about something that…well, wasn’t exactly something I wanted to write for the rest of my life. I wrote erotic romance (AKA chick porn) and while it was fun at first, it got tiring and repetitive. And then my publisher went out of business, but that’s a whole other story.

And yes, I could try to write for a more serious, professional gaming publication. But that would require me to be more serious…and professional. Yeah, that ain’t happening. I love writing about gaming in a very personal way. So yeah. Never gonna make tons of money writing about gaming and I’m sure a hell not a good enough gamer to go pro. And I’m pretty sure no one out there wants to watch a forty-nine year old woman on Twitch. Not to mention I’d probably have to have a whole lot of liquid courage to stream anyway.

I’ve come full circle (see how I did that?), I need the EDJ to pay bills and save for my golden years, but the EDJ cuts into my gaming and writing time. What is a grown up gamer girl to do? Alas, I fear there’s no easy answer to that question.

I have gamer friends who schedule their vacation around a triple A release. Charles regularly stays up too late gaming (I do wish I had the capacity to do that, but Mama needs her eight hours of sleep). We do play just about every evening and weekend, but it’s never enough. Not to blog about gaming the way I once thought I could. I can’t imagine having to come up with videos to post on YouTube or sticking to a streaming schedule. Like I said, I know there are plenty of folks in the same boat.

Adulting is difficult, plain and simple. I suppose the only thing to do, to quote Dory, is “just keep swimming.” Or in my case, trying to balance work and family and dreams. I know how miserable I’d be if I threw in the towel and made compounding pharmacy my whole life. Heaven forbid. And who knows? Maybe my little blog will become something bigger. Can’t know till I try. I just wish I didn’t feel so exhausted all the time. Perhaps that’s my next mountain to tackle. Finding the energy to have it all…if you know how, won’t you tell me, please?

If I’ve entertained you or added some value to your day, that’s wonderful! Please feel free to leave your thoughts, subscribe to my blog or hit me up on Twitter @cindyjacks. If you’d like to support my blog with donations you can do so at ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/grownupgamergirl or cash app $cindyjacksbooks. All donations to my online content are much appreciated, but definitely not required to keep coming back to visit! Game on, my friends!

Floundering in the Void

Photo: Me and my Freddie

I’m irritated with myself. See, I started this blog as sort of my own therapy session and to talk about gaming. But lately I haven’t been blogging or writing at all. It’s not that I’m stress-free, far from it in fact. But I just don’t feel inspired.

Part of the problem is I haven’t played a game that really moves me to put pen to paper (okay, I don’t really write with pen and paper, but “tap the touch pad” doesn’t have the same ring to it).

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been thoroughly abusing my GamePass on my XBox Series S. State of Decay 2, Elex, Guardians of the Galaxy, Call of Duty: Black Ops 3, The Outer Worlds, Outriders. The list goes on and on. They’re all good games, lots of fun, but nothing that’s really spoken to me and definitely nothing that’s blown my mind.

Where’s the next The Witcher 3 or Red Dead Redemption 2 or Horizon: Zero Dawn (okay, Forbidden West was pretty bad a$$, too, but where’s the 3rd installment, huh?). I need another fix of that good good, that sweet that nasty that gooshy stuff, but I’m just not finding it. Alas, I fear I’m a junkie chasing down that next great high. As I’ve stated before, I realize I’m low-key a gaming addict and I’m okay with that. It’s far better for me than other temptations.

Scrolling through Game Informer new releases, I don’t feel too hopeful for the last quarter of 2022. Not to say there aren’t some very good games coming up, but I don’t see greatness. That being said, I would love a new release to prove me wrong.

My plan? To continue sifting through past games, looking once again to experience that rush and to get lost once more. Hey, it’s better than dealing with real life, right? If y’all have any suggestions for what I should play next, please leave them in the comments below. See ya next Friday! (I’m serious, it’s happening this time!)

If I’ve entertained you or added some value to your day, that’s wonderful! Please feel free to leave your thoughts, subscribe to my blog or hit me up on Twitter @cindyjacks. If you’d like to support my blog with donations you can do so at ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/grownupgamergirl or cash app $cindyjacksbooks. All donations to my online content are much appreciated, but definitely not required to keep coming back to visit! Game on, my friends!